The Girl Who Cried Human
by Mr. Grey
Summary: Chapter2's been revised. It contains parodies of 007 and Counter-Strike, so brace yourself!
1. Default Chapter

The Girl Who Cried Human  
  
by Death  
  
Princesse Mononoke n'appartient pas à moi.  
Prinzessin Mononoke gehört nicht mir.  
La principessa Mononoke non appartiene a me.  
A princesa Mononoke não me pertence.  
Princesa Mononoke no pertenece a mí.  
  
  
You will only get this if you watch alot of TV commercials, know about history and watch alot of pointless movies; otherwise, THIS WILL NOT MAKE SENSE. It is NOT a parody of The Boy Who Cried Wolf. Enjoy!  
____________________  
  
  
  
*So, you are waiting for your friends at the bar when you are suddenly surrounded by demon gods! Obiously, your first thought is, "how do I turn this into a party?" Just remember that no demon god in the world could resist the temptation of...*  
  
Kungfu Guy: *Sings Kungfu Fighting* Oh oh oh OOHHH... oh..? Ah... AH... AHHHHH! Stop! Don't kill me! I don't wanna die! *Gets eaten by the demon god*  
  
*Now that you have a party started, why not add some seasoning by eating humans? Humans, crunchy crunchy!*  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
*Inside a cave, San turns off the flintstone-iesh TV. She turns to face one of her wolf brothers.*  
  
San: What is it with the propagandas?  
  
Wolf: The humans are invading the forest.  
  
San: WAAAA?  
  
Wolf: Didn't you know? It's written everywhere, even on Kodama O's boxes.  
  
*San takes one of those boxes and looks at it.*  
  
*Picture of Moro on the box*: "I will say this only once: I did NOT have sexual relations..."  
  
Wolf: Uh, the other side, San.  
  
San: Oh... hehe...  
  
Box Side #2: "The humans are invading the forest. OH THE HUMANITY!"  
  
San: We'll I'll be damned, when are they coming?  
  
Wolf: Well, according to Fox, right about... NOW.  
  
*Out of nowhere, a swarm of humans appeared and started constructing a town near the forest, chopping everything down in their path.*  
  
San: Oh my god, oh my GOD! They are cutting my cable!  
  
Wolf: We've got to stop them! To the batmobile!  
  
San: ...  
  
Wofl: ...  
  
San: You mean riding you?  
  
Wolf: Ya.  
  
*San rides whatever that wolf's name is to the gates of the newly constructed village. San calls for whoever was responsable of cutting her cable to speak to her. Lady Eboshi steps onto the battlements.*  
  
San: Stop, you foolish humans! Don't you know you can't live without cable?!  
  
Eboshi: @#$% off, little girl.  
  
San: What the... I'll have you killed for that remark! Get outta our lands!  
  
Eboshi: This is MY land now, and nobody's gonna take it away from me! Not you, not George Bush, not anybody! *Evil Laugh* Muahahahahaha!  
  
San: Alright! This. Is. War.  
  
*So our heroine declares war on the humans because of dispute over cable... To be continued.*  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
  
Cp2 coming soon. Flame me. 


	2. Chapter Two

The Girl Who Cried Human  
by Dreadnaught  
  
Princesse Mononoke n'appartient pas à moi.  
Prinzessin Mononoke gehört nicht mir.  
La principessa Mononoke non appartiene a me.  
A princesa Mononoke não me pertence.  
Princesa Mononoke no pertenece a mí.  
  
This is NOT a parody of The Boy Who Cried Wolf. You will only get this if you watch alot of movie AND have a weird sense of humor. The kind with wickedness, sarcasm and random ideas one. If you are a game freak/ BOND FAN, you will get some of this faster than others.  
  
  
CHAPTER TWO  
  
  
*Meanwhile, somewhere in the east...*  
  
Ashitaka (on a watch tower): A demon Philsberry Dough Guy!! Run Yakkul!  
  
*Yakkul, on the other hand, was too hungry to run. Seeing Dough Guy making him want to poke his belly... then eat him. Suddenly, Ashitaka threw a grenade at him.*  
  
Ashitaka: Get the @#$% outta here!   
  
*Yakkul runs away, the giant Philsberry's attention is directed at the tower. He tips the tower over and Ashitaka and some guy fell on the ground.*  
  
Ashitaka: *whistles* Yakkul!  
  
*Ashitaka gets on Yakkul and was chased by Philsberry.*  
  
Philsberry: Must... kill... Moe... Weeeeee! Must... kill... Moe... Weeeeee!  
  
Ashitaka: Oh great Philsberry! Please leave our village alone and I will advertise your products everywhere!  
  
Philsberry: Arrrrrg, you have already being pre-aproved for a...  
  
*Ashitaka equips his bow with an arrow that's armed with a giant finger. He shoots it at Dough Guy's belly.*  
  
Philsberry: He, he, he, hehehehehe! *explodes*  
  
*The villagers cheers over his victory.*  
  
Some guy: Bring the old dude here!  
  
*Some other guy brings the old dude in front of what was left of pop'n fresh.*  
  
*From out of nowhere "Imperial March" can be heard*  
  
Old Dude: Everythign is proceeding as I have forseen...  
  
Ashitaka *suddenly became athmatic*: *pfftt ssshhh pfffft ssssh* What is thy bidding, my master?  
  
Old Dude: Go to the far side of this world.  
  
Ashitaka: What about the demon god?  
  
Old Dude: It is insignificant. Soon the demon gods will be crushed and the young wolf princess will be one of us. Your work here is finished, my friend. go to the Iron Town and await my orders.  
  
*Ashitaka bows and heads westward toward the Iron Town while throwing a grenade into the middle of the symphony that's playing "Imperial March".*  
  
Some violonist: What the @%$@?  
  
*Kaboom...*  
  
  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
  
  
*Once again, San is inside a cave with her wolf bothers. She is equiping herself before the infiltration of Iron Town.*  
  
Wolf: What do you need - besides a miracle?  
  
San: Knives, lots of knives.  
  
*Out of nowhere a HUGE stack of knives appeared beside San.*  
  
San: What the... uh... on second thought, I'll just take a lightsaber.  
  
*Mysteriously, she receives a lightsaber from some guy. She turns to one of her wolf brothers.*  
  
San: Mr. Wolf, set course for Iron Town.  
  
Wolf: Aye aye, capt... heeeeey, wait a minute.  
  
San: What?  
  
Wolf: Riding me again?  
  
San: Yup.  
  
*So San rides her favorite brother (that part never comes out right...) towards Iron Town.*  
  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
  
*San leaps over the fence of Iron Town. A Guard sees her.*  
  
Guard: *rings bell* Hey! The pizza guy is here! The pizza guy is here!  
  
*San jumps onto the rooftop and starts running towards Eboshi's hut.*  
  
Guard: Hey! Where are you going? Don't let the pizza get cold!  
  
*Eboshi and her bodyguard came out to see what's going on.*  
  
Bodyguard: She's here...  
  
Eboshi: Yes.  
  
Bodyguard: She will deliver on time.  
  
Eboshi: ...  
  
Bodyguard: So what will you have, pepperoni, all dressed or vegeterean?  
  
Eboshi: That's not the pizza guy you @#%$ @#%$! It's the wolf princess!  
  
Bodyguard: You mean the wolf princess is delivering pizza?  
  
Eboshi: *slaps herself on the forehead* ARG! Remind me to fire you... Come on girls.  
  
*A swarm of girls with M-16s, P-90s, AUGs, AK-47s and MP5Ks in their hands walks out. Meanwhile, San is preparing to sprint towards Eboshi and kill her.*  
  
Eboshi: San, if you seek revenge over me for killing one of your brothers, there are some people here who wants to avenge their husbands...  
  
Some Girl: The bomb has been planted.  
  
Eboshi: *pauses* and I shall gladly kill you with...  
  
Some Girl: Hostage down!  
  
Eboshi: *pauses and looks around* Anyway, and I shall gladly...  
  
Some Girl: Can you all stop for a sec? I'm having a lag spike.  
  
Eboshi: Okee... That was certainly awkward...  
  
*San charges towards Eboshi with the lightsaber in her hands. She ignites it and took a swing at Eboshi. Eboshi took a lightsaber of her own which was hidden under her coat and activates it. San was pushed slowly towards a cliff, while Eboshi swings a frenzied attack, which missed everytime, at San.*  
  
Eboshi: San, Moro never told you what happened to your father...  
  
San: She told me enough! *backs away* She told me you killed him.  
  
Moro: *from far away* No I didn't...  
  
Eboshi: No, San, I am your father!  
  
San: ... uh... how the hell?  
  
Eboshi: Simple, I am also your second cousin's bother's teacher's cousin's sister's second cousin's brother-in-law's roomate!  
  
San: Noooooo! That's not true! That's impossible!  
  
Eboshi: Search your feelings, San, you know it to be true.  
  
*San looks down the cliff, back away even more and prepares to jump...*  
  
Eboshi: San, join the humans, and together we shall rule the world as mother and daughter.  
  
San: The world is not enough.  
  
Eboshi: Fooliesh statement.  
  
San: Clan motto.  
  
*San looked back, and was about to jump down the cliff when -*  
  
Ashitaka: *presses the doorbell* Ding-dong!  
  
  
  
  
  
Ok, I'm tired so I'll just stop for now... Chapter 3 coming real soon! 


End file.
